“Aint life so cruel when you’re just not good enough?, aint life so cruel when theres someone else she loves”
Some of us have our idea of “Mr or Mrs Everything” but they don’t really exist. You see you have to look for qualities in a partner like they’re potentially your LIFE MATE, that you’re gunna grow old and develop with, someone who will IMPROVE YOU, will make you feel like a man/woman and will compliment you’re every move and thought.
We spend so much time (more ladies than men) really criticising men what we don’t do and not focusing on what we do do right. I’m not saying EVERY lady does this but it’s some kind of social thing, I have a friend at work, she’s a lovely girl, she’s polite, friendly with guys but not flirty but she ALLLLLLLLWAAAAYYYYSSSS complains about her man, and I even tell her if he’s so rubbish/miserable etc why are you still with him sharing a house and sleeping in the same bed? Is she comfortable? Scared she won’t find someone else or “better”? You tell me, and I’ve talked to so many women who say how much they love their man BUT he plays too much xbox or he spends too much time with his friends or he doesn’t go to the gym! So many couples say all this behind one another’s back but won’t say it to their partner
I’ve been on the recieving end of this many times in respects of what I do and don’t do and I realised that for the amount of time I spent in my relationships I’ve not really felt like a MAN, I’ve been made to feel stupid, useless, untrustworthy, incapable of something and my favourite unintelligent and not “good enough”
This isn’t a rant post at all, just I guess abit of closure and forgiveness that I’m not perfect, I fuck up, infact I mess up so much that it’s a blessing because I’m wise, I’m humble, polite, I like talking and listening to people, I’ve never been someone who puts himself first but I’m investing time in myself more now.
I’ve spent the past 2 years torturing myself and literally wasting my life and time because of what happened (see recent posts new followers) and it’s not fair, no one should do that! I rejected all the love and help that was given to me, it’s crazy that you let someone do that to you, maybe I love too deeply maybe I care too much but it’s who I am, I go all in I give it every inch and fibre of my body that I can and it’s not paid off, but that’s life, you fail and mess up and you’ve just gotta grow from it, it doesn’t mean I’m gunna be dating and sleeping with tonnes of women I’m just gunna get my priorities right and learn from it, if I grow old on my own then let’s have it! I’ll just enjoy my life for what it is and will be!
Losing Scarlett has sucked and still sucks at times but MY life is about ME, and I say it like riding a train, some of you will ride the train with me(and some would even ride the bus) but some of you will get de railed and only want to ride the limo with me, remove negative people from your life, remove poison from your life….
Forgive yourself, be strong, be happy, work through that bucket list you’ve always wanted to do, fuck up, make mistakes and learn from them and grow!
You GROW through what you GO through! – times a healer
How do I know? Because 2 years ago around this time I was crying everyday for about a year after that and what else? I didn’t sleep properly I couldn’t eat, diagnosed with depression, couldn’t go 5 seconds without thinking about something that turned my insides inside out or that made my heart feel like it was being repeatedly stabbed! What do I feel now? Scars that are healing into scar tissue, a body and mind that is getting stronger and confidence and trust in who I am,
Will I love again? Will me and Scarlett get back together? Will my career take off? Will I move away? Will I achieve what I want in life? Who knows but it’s gunna be one hell of a journey…..
You coming with me?
I love you all, always.
P.S email me or drop me a comment! I don’t like feeling that I’m talking to myself I hope my posts help someone out there like some have yours have.